My mother was born in a village in southern China in the 1970s. My mother raised me alone. However, because my mother struggled to make a living, I haven’t spent much time with her since I was a child. I spent most of my growing-up years on my own. When I was a child, I knew not to cause trouble for my mother because she was very tired, and I had to learn to take care of her. But because of this idea, I always only talk about positive things when talking to my mother. Neither my mother nor I ever mention negative things, but my emotional problems are always ignored by her. I don’t have very serious psychological or emotional problems, but it causes me to think that my emotions are not needed and avoid my emotions. This is reflected in my life when dealing with relationship problems. I am afraid of arguments and avoid all relationships. I never face negative emotions.
Mother and her mother
Often thoughts and feelings are reached through expression in images rather than words. Like psychoanalytic procedures, images may deal with dreams, fantasies, daydreams, fears, conflicts, and memories. （Margaret Naumburg ，2023）
Mother and her sister
I didn't realize this problem during my teenage years until my mother's parents died one after another a few years ago. I was very panicked at the family funeral. The moment I wanted to escape from that environment, I realized that I was like a deserter on the battlefield. I couldn't say a word to comfort my mother. All I could do was greet the guests at the funeral and try to give my mother a little space of her own. I blamed myself very much after this incident because I felt powerless. I was very envious of the ability of movies and TV series to comfort the people I love most in scenes like this.
Mother and me
My mother often blamed herself for not providing me with a complete family environment, and I always told her it wasn't her fault. Sometimes my mother would always worry about what clothes to wear and would not dare try clothes with bright colors or designs. When she looked in a mirror, she always plucked out her hair because it looked like clothes worn by young people. She always feels that her figure is getting worse and worse, and she always feels that there are more and more wrinkles on her face. She always thinks that she should do what she should do at her age. In her childhood, my mother was taught what was considered "women's values," which sometimes led her to repeat self-denial.
I always praise my mother for this; I accompany her to choose the clothes she likes, match her outfits for the day, and teach her to use her mobile phone to buy her favorite items. I hope my mother will always be a happy girl. I think I will change. The mother is also changing herself.
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Margaret Naumburg (2023) Wikipedia. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Naumburg